Looking backwards I noticed a disconnect between my wants/desires and my actions. It was not obvious to me at the time this disconnect existed. I am not even sure I would have ever noticed had I not been counseling a fellow Christian about a struggle in their life.
This disconnect is so incredibly obvious and so incredibly simple to understand that I am still amazed to see how easily we are deceived.
Here is an example a husband and wife are having sexual difficulties. The husbands perception of the problem is his wife is not often interested in sex. His desire is to have a better sex life with his wife. His solution to this problem? Look at porn or perhaps worse have an affair.
My question in this situation is simple. How is looking at porn or having an affair going to improve sexual relations with your wife?
Whatever the motive, reasoning or excuse we have for our behavior is not really important. I think we all can look back on our life and see this flawed thinking.
This type of behavior happens all the time in many areas from weight gain, money, exercise, health, dating, marriage, disciplining children and many more.
Here are 4 questions we need to ask ourself often –
What is it that I really desire?
Is my desire Godly?
Is what I am doing going to help me get what I desire?
What behaviours do I have that are not getting me closer to my desire?
Is true deception doing something that is diametrically opposed to what we desire believing it will get us what we desire?